. : Forums

[jslcook]

i would like to start a chat page for us widowers.it is very hard to move forward when somebody you love dies.John died 8 years ago and this father's day gone,I was in a state.-Upset and missing him.I would love to talk to people with same issue and maybe form a ''healing moving forward group'Love to hear from you!

[beachesca]

i would like to start a chat page for us widowers.it is very hard to move forward when somebody you love dies.John died 8 years ago and this father's day gone,I was in a state.-Upset and missing him.I would love to talk to people with same issue and maybe form a ''healing moving forward group'Love to hear from you!

Yes widowhood is very difficult, especially the holidays such as his birthday, father's day and of course your anniversay is the hardest.

I think a lot of widows are not sure where to go from here or what they want.

Good luck and try to stay positive.
Beaches ca

[Brewman]

I have been a widower for three years next month but I still have difficulty trying to move on. I very much want to meet women and date and dance again but my late wife seems to be impossible to replace. I don't ever want to forget her but I know I should not concede that she is the only woman for my whole life. Maybe some widow out there will know what I am going through Part of the problem is that I am not sure just what it is that I want

[ladylike02]

I have been a widow for the past 3 1/2 years, I guess almost four my how time goes so quickly. My husband was ill for a very long time prior to his death. They have been difficult years just adapting and adjusting to being an "I" instead of a "we". I have done a fair amount of dating and have just had difficulty finding the right people. The caregiver keeps coming out and I have to remember what it is I want instead of trying to take care of others. I am still an optomist and hopefully one day I will find someone to share my life and heart with again.

[Lianor]

Its very true. My husband, who passed away in 2003, was an acer dancer and we socialised alot. With the children leaving their nest it gets even worse. One is threatened as age advances. Even though coming from a country where people know who their neighbours are, people are just about occupied in their own affairs. Even family ties too seem to be breaking down. At 64, I have a part-time job. Its this, some meditation and listening to spiritual songs thats keeping loneliness at bay. I know I have to think positive and hope I stay mobile till the end.
Yet I think, a widow is better off than a widower. There are plenty of things that a woman can do but its not so with a man who has had his woman of many years taken away.

[chitrap]

I have been a widow for fifteen years. I am used to being alone and doing many things by myself, however, I do feel lonely from time to time. I crave for company in the evenings and on weekends and I often wish that I had someone to travel with. I find that you cannot depend on your grownup children as they have their own life.

[sensualintellect]

While never married to Me Ladiee, after sharing 5 amazing years together, and holding her as she went, it would be a diservice to her, as she demanded I do it again, or else.

So after grieving for a year plus, I am ready, positive and passionate about finding anothr partner and enjoying life, as to do otherwise would make me a cad.

I will miss her always, but to be on a website indicates it is time to move forward, and to bring the past into it as a negative well would not be fair to possible future partners.

So I guess (generalizing) if still grieving so much it could comprimise others feelings should one be here?

I know I wouldn't have been until now, self diagnostics are a wonderful thing.

I wish everyone here good luck in finding not a replacement, but a new adventures mate

[ru4me.]

I too am a widow for just 1yr and 7 months. My husband of almost 30 years passed away a week before Christmas 2009. The first year I was still in shock and now I am just so lonely. I just joined this site today hoping to find some friends and possibly a special someone later on. I find this a little scarry but I know I have to take the plunge.

[Bilboswild]

I am neither, but have experienced being involved at two very different levels, firstly with my mother, when my father died when I was just 20, and she lived alone for 39 until she passed away as well, and it was hard for her in so much as my brother was married already and I worked away from home, and she had friends but basically gave up on life to some extent and became a recluse and only visited with close family on special occasions only.

The other was with my ex-wife who was married and had a bay with that person, but he died when Ben was only 5 months old, and we had worked together, and met up a 5-6 months after his death when I was in the area to where she had moved, as people in her old town would cross the street rather than speak to her, not knowing what to say or do. We subsequently started living together and then got married, but gradually I began to notice and realise things were not quite right, and we became slightly more distant before it came out, that she realised that she didn't really love me, and had married me for the wrong reasons. Eventually we agreed to split up and subsequently divorced, but have remained really good friends, not only for "our sons" sake, but for our own as well, as he knows me as his dad, and her ex, as his father.

So yes when the time is right, move on, make friends, go on dates, and if more develops then go for it, life is too short to have regrets, and although what happened at the time hurt a lot, I just wanted to see my ex happy even though I couldn't do that for her. I am sure your partner would also not want you to live life alone either. So my advice is move forward, file the past away in a special place, and open the phase of your life.

[auntylin]

On being widowed many years ago after 22yrs of marriage, l went through the normal shock and grief,
following that, strange expectations that friends, neighbours, would rally round with a stream of invites to their home, meals, outings, whilst the local males would offer to do heavy garden maintenance work when seeing me struggling, neither happened much at all, some wives think of you as a threat, be it neither you or their husbands are interested, so we learn, and have a go at all manner of jobs,
cistern, ubends, putting shelves up,be it theyre a bit fragile, limited weight load, hands and knee,s cursing the vac, then using a drill,jigsaw, hedge cutters, decorating shared before now done alone. With all the practical problems, crisis, you do learn and manage, most of the time. The worst is loneliness, much of the time you get by ok with a friend, neighbourly chat, family get togethers, but sometimes, for me usually bank holidays, sundays, the times when as a couple you are most likely to set off, countryside, coast, dine out, its about missing sharing, a chat, laugh, problems, plans, filling the gaps. One son lives a fair distance so see rarely, the other more regular for short chats, love the company of my 2 dogs and 2 cats, be lost without them, also my garden. Someone arranged a first date in a foursome, stange experience, chatted well enough, but not attracted and couldnt get beyond chatting, as if looking for a clone of partner before l could take it further, but time goes by, so its settle for being in a safe comfortable rut, or take new challenges, activities and meeting new people. Decided on the latter, as its true you regret what you dont do, about giving it a go, try courses, first i.t, which has been worthwhile for internet benafits, tai chi, dancing, limping afterwards, art, church groups, creative writing, feel a bit like bono, not the voice, `still havent found what l,m looking for` so keep looking, whilst trying to ignore the health problems, just be as happy as l can.

[jessicarabbit]

Hi you will never replace her and shouldnt try to only time will tell when its time to move on i,ve been widowed 12 years and been out with a couple of guys it does no harm to meet new people and who knows one day u might even find someone else who is right for u

[Sallyann085]

Hi
I joined this club a few months ago hoping to make new friends didnt want a relationship--not yet anyway but i found as soon as i mentioned that to the men i never heard from them again
I lost my husband 8 months ago and just need friends but its not happening for me anyway.
I think it would be a brilliant idea to start a widow/widowers site is there anyone out there like me at the moment that just wants friendship?please get in touch. : .

[Graham1]

:idea: Hi
I joined this club a few months ago hoping to make new friends didnt want a relationship--not yet anyway but i found as soon as i mentioned that to the men i never heard from them again
I lost my husband 8 months ago and just need friends but its not happening for me anyway.
I think it would be a brilliant idea to start a widow/widowers site is there anyone out there like me at the moment that just wants friendship?please get in touch. : .

Hi SallyAnn. There are lots of members here wanting to make friends and I see many of them in the chatroom. Also there is a Dublin local group run by Cliath who organizes get togethers and nights out in the area. I suggest you pop into the chat sometime and also contact Cliath about local events.

[Sallyann085]

:idea: Hi
I joined this club a few months ago hoping to make new friends didnt want a relationship--not yet anyway but i found as soon as i mentioned that to the men i never heard from them again
I lost my husband 8 months ago and just need friends but its not happening for me anyway.
I think it would be a brilliant idea to start a widow/widowers site is there anyone out there like me at the moment that just wants friendship?please get in touch. : .

Hi SallyAnn. There are lots of members here wanting to make friends and I see many of them in the chatroom. Also there is a Dublin local group run by Cliath who organizes get togethers and nights out in the area. I suggest you pop into the chat sometime and also contact Cliath about local events.

Thank you graham sounds just what im looking for . i will try the chat room although never been in there before

[Sallyann085]

Hi Graham
i was looking for something like that i will try the chatroom or maybe get in touch with cliath thank you