Great post, Daisy. I see this was posted back in March of this year, but as busy as I've been and as little as I have been on the site in the last few months, it's no surprise that I missed it.
That said, a lot of what you posted rings true with utter absolution in the way I've come to live my life. Being divorced and living alone for the past five years, I've had plenty of time to think; to evalutate the present, ponder my past, and wonder what the immediate (and long term) future held.
At first, and after 15 years of marriage, it's no surprise to feel completely and totally lost when you suddenly find yourself alone. To quote John Lennon (and I love the quotes you posted), "How can I go forward if I don't know which way I'm facing" seemed to be a massive understatement to me at the time.
How did I find myself in this situation? What did I do to deserve this? How could anyone treat another human being this way? These were all questions I was asking myself, and I truly believed that it was all done to me. That I had no hand in any of it. That my life had changed so dramatically because of someone else.
But as time went on, my thinking started to change and evolve. I would spend hours sitting in silence, turning off the TV and sitting back on the sofa, looking out my living room window to just take it all in and let my thoughts go where they may. In the beginning, those hours were filled with (thoughts of) anger, bitterness, and even despair at the direction my life had taken and where I found myself in the present. It was a bleak existence rife with negativity and I knew somehow I had to change it.
Eventually, and as time started to fade the bitterness and my new 'everday's' became somewhat of the norm, I wholeheartedly started to realize that we are the product of every choice we ever made. Everything we do or do not do is the result of a choice. We may find ourselves in a situation where we feel we may not have a choice, and I believe in some rare instances we may not, but the end result is still a decision. The decision with which how to respond. As you stated, and I'll quote you from your original post - "everything in our lives is chosen either consciously or unconsciously" - I believe to be true.
Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote, "circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him", and if we think back to every savory or unsavory situation in our lives, it usually leads back to either a cluster of good or not so good decisions we made at that time period.
All of this being posted (and sorry it's so long), the only expecations I choose to live with are my own. To expect anything of anyone else is in essence holding them hostage and to your own standards, and to be quite honest, what right would I have to do so? What others may think of me is none of my business, I have enough to worry about as it is. My game plan is to stick to my game plan. I choose to treat people with kindness, to smile, and not to respond to the negative aspects around me. I choose to get out of bed everyday and open my curtains to let the sun shine through and just be thankful that I'm alive and I'm healthy -- and much more the wiser than I was five years back.
I was humbled, my ego was damaged, and I was alone, but it would ultimately lead to all of the best decisions I ever made in my life.