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Dating is stressful at any age. Perhaps the most anxiety-inducing aspect of dating is flirting. What should you say? How can you make your interest known without scaring her off? By following these tips you'll be sure to win over the object of your affection in a charming and natural way.
DO... maintain eye contact.
There's a reason why a penetrating gaze is often considered sexy! Research has proven that eye contact between potential partners is often perceived as a sign of attraction. Eye contact fosters intimacy and boosts feelings of empathy and understanding. When you're attracted to someone, your pupils dilate as well. Interestingly, studies have shown that this dilation makes you more attractive to others, too. Even if you're too shy to speak, try to maintain eye contact with your date. This single behavior is one of the best ways to indicate your attraction and foster it in others.
DON'T... overdo it.
It can be easy to get carried away while flirting. Though it can be tempting to go all-out, it's best to stick to subtle flirtation. If you're a master of dry humor, don't try to transform yourself into a slapstick extraordinaire just to impress your date. Play up the best parts of your personality while remaining true to yourself. Praise your date and offer sincere compliments without exaggerating your claims. If you sense that your love interest isn't into you, cut back on the flirting and seek out someone else. Enjoy flirting and stay true to yourself.
DO... keep your body language open and inviting.
Though body language may be silent, this behavior can signal interest even more clearly than verbal coquetry. Visual cues are one of the easiest ways for individuals to convey their interest to potential matches. A quick, flirty smile and a tilt of the head can go a long way towards forming an initial connection. If you're dating online, use a profile picture displaying open and confident posture. Though men are often perceived as the primary initiators of relationships, a number of studies indicate that women's nonverbal cues actually triggered a majority of these initial encounters. You're never too old to pout your lips or playfully stroke the arm of your crush.
DON'T... let the conversation become X-rated.
Everyone loves a little dirty talk now and then. Unfortunately, heading down this path while flirting can quickly lead to uncomfortable situations. Though dropping an occasional innuendo is perfectly acceptable, exchanging explicit words during an initial conversation is probably not in your best interest. Though it can be tempting to delve into naughtier subjects, it's best not to rush things. By leaving a little to the imagination you'll stoke the fire of romance while avoiding the risk of appearing desperate or overeager.
DO... listen and ask meaningful questions.
Are you uncomfortable twirling your hair or staring into someone's eyes? If you find these forms of flirting to be forced and uncomfortable, stick to the basics. Whether you've met in a bar or on a dating website, the best way to connect with your love interest is through meaningful communication. Instead of ranting about your horrible ex, ask your crush about his hobbies and passions. If he talks about his job or she talks about her relationship with her mother, listen. Once you and your date have a deeper understanding of one another you can also discuss difficult conversational topics. Find things you appreciate about your crush and take note of them. By communicating on a deeper level you'll establish a rich connection that just might pave the road to romance.
DON'T... do all of the work yourself.
When you really like someone, it can be tempting to overdo it. Perhaps the most challenging flirting skill to master is that of restraint. Instead of openly flirting with your crush all evening, take some time to simply listen and appreciate the conversation. Though it may be a challenge, allow yourself to be pursued, rather than constantly pursuing, or vice versa. Doing so just might reveal how sincerely your crush is interested in you! Flirting works best when it's mutual. By reining in your seduction, you can more easily determine whether or not your crush likes you back.
Flirting doesn't have to be such a daunting task! By following these simple tips, you can become more proficient in the art of romantic courtship.
Photo: (c) kzenon / fotolia.com
Editor, 08/25/2016
