3 | 6735 views
Aha, choosing a partner... one of the most exciting and mysterious aspects of human life. We've all chosen a partner at some point or are currently seeking someone who aligns with our ideals and desires. But what guides us in mate selection? Why do we fall in love with a particular person?
Partner selection often involves conscious and unconscious factors that influence whom we choose as our life companion.
Psychological research reveals gender differences in mate selection criteria. For instance, men tend to prioritize external appearance, while women prefer a partner's caregiving abilities. However, these differences become less significant in the long run.
Further studies suggest that later on, both men and women highly value partner loyalty. In searching for a partner, both genders favor kindness, understanding, and a sense of humor, especially when seeking a lasting relationship.
The play of emotions and the subconscious:
Childhood experiences:
Patterns and experiences acquired during childhood often determine who we are attracted to. Examples set by our parents or other significant figures in relationships deeply imprint in our subconscious.
Do opposites truly attract?
Though we often hear that opposites attract, in reality, we are often drawn to those who share some similarities with us, whether in interests, values, or humor style.
The desire for healing:
At times, we fall in love with individuals who seemingly have the ability to heal or fill a void in our lives. These relationships often serve as attempts to heal our own internal wounds.
The safety of the familiar:
The longing for familiar feelings and situations often leads to individuals resembling those we encountered in our childhood. This can create a secure space for us.
The person symbolizing the ideal partner:
Our desires and dreams often reflect in the attributes and values we ascribe to the ideal partner. Throughout our lives, we seek individuals who best embody these ideals.
Characteristics of conscious partner selection:
Self-awareness:
Recognizing our needs and expectations in a partner is crucial. Self-awareness helps us consciously choose a partner.
Lessons from past experiences:
Based on lessons learned from past relationships, we can develop preferences that assist us in seeking qualities that truly matter to us.
Openness to new experiences:
Let's not close ourselves off to people who deviate from the norm. New values and experiences can contribute to a richer and more balanced relationship.
Communication:
Open and honest communication is key in a relationship. Let's talk about our desires, plans, and be willing to listen to the other.
The conscious partner selection can help us build relationships that truly align with our needs and values. Self-awareness, openness, and intelligent decision-making are tools that can help avoid the repetition of unconscious mate selection patterns.
Photo: © simona / stock.adobe.com
Editor, 11/09/2023
