1 | 103 views
Especially young couples who are deeply in love, planning their wedding, and firmly believing that it will last “forever” often ask me: Why do so many people get divorced later in life nowadays?
Changing life perspectives in later years
A key societal factor is the increasing life expectancy. While previous generations often began planning their later years at 60 or 65, many people today experience a new sense of life well beyond the age of 50: they are often still healthy, active, financially secure, and feel mentally and physically capable.
This so-called “second half of life” is no longer seen as an ending, but rather as a second chance—a phase of self-realization and reorientation.
In this context, an unhappy or emotionally distant marriage is increasingly perceived as a limitation. People no longer want to spend their remaining decades in frustration or indifference, but instead seek emotional closeness, vitality, and self-determination.
The destigmatization of divorce
Another societal aspect is the destigmatization of divorce later in life. In the 1970s and 1980s, separating after many years of marriage was still considered a social stigma. Today, however, divorce is an accepted part of modern relationship culture across all age groups.
At the same time, the traditional image of marriage has changed. Whereas economic or family necessities used to be central, partnerships today are viewed primarily through an emotional lens. When these foundations erode, separation is no longer seen as failure, but as a self-determined decision.
Psychological processes in midlife
The so-called “midlife crisis” is far more than just a cliché. From a psychological perspective, it represents an intense phase of self-reflection that often begins between the ages of 40 and 60. Questions such as “Is this all there is?”, “Who am I really?”, or “How much time do I have left?” become increasingly significant.
This self-reflection can lead to an existential crisis—or to an inner awakening. Many people (re)discover needs for closeness, individuality, adventure, or meaning. If these needs can no longer be fulfilled within the existing relationship, an inner pressure for change arises.
When the children leave home
A classic trigger for separation later in life is the so-called “empty nest effect”—the phase when children leave the parental home and the couple suddenly finds itself alone again. Many people realize at this point that the relationship has, over the years, been reduced to functioning as parents, while emotional intimacy as partners has been lost.
A personal example: Maria’s new beginning at 53
Maria is 53 years old when she separates from her husband after 27 years of marriage. The children have just moved out, the house has grown quiet, and she suddenly realizes how alone she feels in her relationship. Her husband shows no interest in her thoughts or needs—they are merely living side by side. After a long inner struggle, she decides to divorce.
In the first few years after the separation, Maria enjoys her newfound freedom. She travels, tries out new hobbies, and experiences being alone as liberating. Over time, however, loneliness sets in. She misses deep conversations, tenderness, and emotional connection. Eventually, she signs up for an online dating platform—initially skeptical, but curious.
There she meets Thomas, a man her age who has had similar experiences. They meet, get to know each other slowly, and eventually fall in love. Today, they are in a happy relationship, spend a lot of time together, and have developed shared rituals—yet they consciously live apart. This form of partnership offers both freedom and closeness, and for Maria it is the most fulfilling relationship of her life.
Changing partner selection criteria with age
It is also interesting to look at the psychological changes in partner selection as people grow older. While external attributes, social status, or family planning often play a major role in younger years, priorities shift later in life. Qualities such as emotional maturity, intellectual connection, openness, humor, and zest for life become more important—especially for women.
Conclusion and personal opinion
The increasing number of divorces later in life reflects profound societal and individual changes. What was once considered a “failure” is now often understood as a new beginning. This development reveals a growing desire for self-realization, emotional closeness, and inner freedom.
From my perspective, this trend is fundamentally positive—it shows that people are no longer clinging to outdated models for life, but are courageously choosing new paths.
At the same time, it is important to recognize that this step requires courage, self-reflection, and a willingness to take responsibility for one’s own happiness. A separation later in life is not easy, but it is often a necessary and healing step—toward a more conscious and fulfilling life.
About the author: Dr. med. Stefan Woinoff, a Munich-based specialist in psychosomatic medicine and psychotherapy, excels as the 50plus-Club relationship expert. He specializes in coaching singles toward meaningful partnerships and, as an action therapy specialist and author, regularly publishes insightful articles to guide people on their path to authentic relationships
Photo: © Andrii Zastrozhnov / stock.adobe.com
Editor, 01/22/2026
